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Headline:
Aardware's Webpage Demands Push Webmaster to Limits

Aardware has ambitious plans for it's webpage. Aardware intends to break the mold... it wants it's webpage to be full of content and distractions. Handy links, informative articles, useful utilities, and plentiful adjectives. Aardware believes that it's not right to sell things they aren't excited about. They believe that it's not right to not help people get the most out of the stuff they buy. They want you to go to their webpage to learn and to find new ways to play with your computer.

Don't get them wrong, though.. they think it would be awfully nice if you'd buy stuff from their website, too. They're setting up an online store and will eventually be accepting both PayPal and credit card transactions (through a second-party highly secure server, of course).
When asked to comment about what would be involved in setting up a site of this magnitude, their webmaster just giggled frantically and wandered off repeating "God I'm old".